About "These Are Their Stories"

Friday, April 18, 2008

Law & Order's Chris Noth and SATC – Will Mr. Big Die in the SATC Movie?

Noth as Mr. Big, Vanity Fair

OK, let me get this out of the way right away. I was never a fan of Sex and the City. I found the show incredibly shallow, and the few times I watched it just to see Law & Order’s (and Criminal Intent's) Chris Noth as “Mr. Big”, even he couldn’t save it for me. After watching less that 5 episodes I knew the show just was not for me.

But, Law & Order fans still may be interested to hear that Chris Noth’s appearance in the big screen SATC movie – with that “catchy” title “Sex and the City: The Movie” (could it be any less creative?) – is already stirring some buzz with the rumors that Mr. Big actually DIES in the movie. The rumor started last summer when Noth himself said that “Mr. Big had a fatal heart attack and died."

New York Magazine fuels the speculation by doing an article with their own thoughts on the subject. My suggestion is - wouldn’t be interesting if Mr. Big dies and someone from the L&O universe shows up to check out whether it really is a homicide? Maybe that would give them a better title for the movie “Sex and Law and Order”, which I would probably pay good money to see. (As far as “Sex and the City: The Movie”, I think I’ll pass.)

Here’s the New York Magazine article:

‘Sex and the City’ Movie: We Know Who Dies (Updated)

This past Tuesday night, Cynthia Nixon let slip to an interviewer that in the upcoming Sex and the City movie, one of the characters dies. She refused to say which one, but we think we might know.

Samantha
Potential cause of death: Breast cancer. It's entirely possible that Samantha's breast cancer could return, no matter how fabulous she is. We can also quite easily picture a scenario where usage of a sex swing goes awry. Too easily, in fact.
Why it might not happen: The gay audience would revolt.

Steve's Mom
Potential cause of death: Alzheimer's combined with general boringness. In the last few episodes, Anne Meara's character was losing her memory and had developed a taste for wandering around the streets eating out of garbage cans. Plus, her character has kind of run its course. What's she going to do if there's a sequel? Take her pants off at Saks? Actually…
Why it might not happen: People live like that for years.

Mr. Big
Potential cause of death: Heart attack. Rumors of Big's demise have been floating around the Internet since Noth told the Post, prior to the film's actually getting made, that "In the Sex and the City movie that never happened, Mr. Big had a fatal heart attack and died." Plus, as one commenter on Us magazine's Website notes, "Carrie dyes her hair dark, so something tragic had to happen." Plus, in the final episode, we learned his real name (it is John). According to the famed Rumpelstiltskin Theory, this means he must tear himself in half.
Why it might not happen: And leave poor old bony Carrie all alone again? Now that's just cruel. Plus, Chris Noth told Extra there may be a sequel in the works.

Charlotte
Potential cause of death: Freak tennis accident. Charlotte is hit on the head by a tennis ball in that exact spot that kills you. Charlotte is accidentally smothered by a pile of Lily Pulitzer fabric. Charlotte passes out from hunger and her dog, Elizabeth Taylor, eats her face off.
Why it might not happen: Huh. We can't think of a reason not to kill Charlotte. She's sort of extraneous when you think about it. And just think: Samantha and Carrie could make all the dirty jokes they wanted! There. It's settled.

Update: Our dear, delusional friends over at Vulture disagree with our assessment that Charlotte will die. They are convinced that it is, in fact, Big whose head will be squashed by an inexplicable falling safe. They may be right about Charlotte; surely somewhere in her contract (right under the part where she agrees to periodically flash a boob) it must say that she can't actually die. But Kois, Brown, you crazy Kantian cats, it's not going to be Mr. Big. And here's why: You have to follow the Friends paradigm. The writers of that show believed in their hearts that viewers wanted Ross and Rachel to end up together — even though really we wanted Rachel to go to Paris and for Ross to be sat upon on by a rogue brontosaurus. So the Sex writers ended the series with Big and Carrie together. But then they realized afterward the folly of their ways, and now they have the chance to fix it for good. Imagine the real end of Sex and the City being that Carrie actually learns a goddamn lesson for once, instead of twisting everything that happens to her into a trite, column-ending pun. If Big dies, nobody learns anything — in fact, Carrie gets to spend the rest of her life indulging herself with the lie that it was a "great love." If he dumps her at the altar, it's way worse. See, Vulture, if Big dies, he'll get what he deserves, sure. But Carrie never will.



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5 comments:

samfan said...

Those are all good points. I hope Big doesn't die, but honestly I don't and haven't watched it that much, so I really don't care. But if he dies, I want a full investigation by the 27th Precinct, and a trial, but Jack should get to try the case, because if one of the S&C girls did it Mike might fall for them! I think we could come up with a whole script for it!

Jack McCoy said...

I like very much your site, it teaches me many things on Law and Order and the actors. In France I don't often look " Sex and the City. " But I like Chris Noth especially in inspector Logan.

I shall like corresponding with somebody of your site who speaks French and with whom I can correspond on subjects as Law and Order etc....

samfan said...

Jack McCoy, I hope this is right: J'adore votre blog et les photos sur celle-ci. (I love your blog and the pictures on it.) ATL&O and These are their stories are wonderful blogs, they bith have the best info on anything and everything L&O

These Are Their Stories said...

I am ashamed to say that I took 2-1/2 years of French in high school (in the early 1970s) and remember very little of it. I got very good grades so I don't know why I seemed to lose the language once I left high school. I have tried to pick it up many times over the years (using tapes and CD language programs) but it's like I just can't get it to stick.

But...I keep trying!

samfan said...

These are their stories, I found a translator on Google that will translate to & from just about any language. I am not good with French or anything besides English!